After the Fall
by OliviaBe
Summary: A little one shot about Dean and Sam after the fall of the angels and living without Cas. Destiel if you squint. Warning: swearing and mentions of suicide.


**A/N: I own nothing! Supernatural belongs to whomever owns it. Also, sorry if this is shit, which it is but still sorry. I did this late at night, I'm new to the fandom, and I was hit with a tidal wave of feels due to Miley Cyrus. (Yeah, I know. Who knew?) But I hope you like it and leave me a review if you are so inclined! (Or if you want to criticize me for how horribly inaccurate everything is. Which is okay too.)**

After the fall of the angels and Cas never returning to them-to him-Dean waited for several months, healing Sam, waiting for any word of his angel. Not a sound. He did not know where Cas was when the rest of the angels fell, but Cas knew where Dean was, he could have come or at least called. Dean sent word to the rest of the hunters telling them of the situation and to look for a man in a dirty trench coat as a special favor for Dean. But no word.

He and Sam eventually had to move on in case any of the newly human angels came for vengeance. There was no mention of Cas between the brothers. He was referred to as Castiel in conversations and whenever anyone did mention by _Cas_, Dean would either slit their throat or walk away and refuse to converse again. Dean was always tense and ready to kill some fucking demons and monsters.

Sam hadn't seen him this tense in years. On the how-stressed-is-Dean-actually-scale it was a new high. That only meant two things; either Dean was going to blow up the world in an attempt to find Castiel or get him back or die trying. If it weren't for Sam, Dean would have tried both options already-multiple times.

The first time Sam tried to bring up Cas Dean full out punched him in the face. Granted, not very hard but still. The only apology he got was an awkward slap on the arm and a gruff grunt. The second time was by a passing demon who happened to ask where Dean's angel boyfriend was which resulted in the demon having a broken neck. Who knew if you punched something hard enough repeatedly you could actually snap its neck? Whenever Castiel was mentioned by any passing hunters or really anything Dean tensed up and lashed out.

If that was the extent of it, it would have been fine but that wasn't even close. The first couple of days Dean did not eat or sleep. He drank but only heavy liquor. On the third night, Sam forced some beans on Dean and it was not long after that that Dean cracked. He just broke. He yelled for two days straight before crying through the following three. Sam could barely take care of himself at that point but he knew that if Dean was left to his own devices he would have ended his life using the quickest means possible.

After that ordeal, Dean apologized and they looked for good enough cases to leave their locations. They-Dean-didn't find anything until a few months ago, when he told Sam of the most obscure case probably they have ever attempted that was half way across the country. But Sam understood, it was means to escape. They would have to uproot and never return, it was a chance to start somewhere new and try to live again.

It failed but it was worth a shot. After the case was done Sam thought they might set up roots but instead Dean gave him a folder for another case this time it was in the Deep South. They continued this way for a month before Sam realized that unlike what he initially thought they were never going to settle down again. This was Dean outrunning Castiel and his past, in case either come looking for him. But now Sam realized the truth, Dean wasn't running from Cas, he was running to him. Dean remembered all the places Cas wanted to visit and little things he didn't understand about humanity that he would have wanted to experience if he had more time and their lives hadn't been as hellish as they were. And each place a case was either forced them to drive through or go directly to a place Cas was interested in. It made sense now why they spent three days in San Clemente and a week scouring Boston for anything suspicious that they could "take care of". There was, it just took a week to find.

But it wasn't until several months after the fall that the two of them were cruising through a tiny town in the middle of God knows where when Sam thought he caught sight of a dirty trench coat disappearing into a small dry cleaning place. Dean was so focused on driving that he completely missed it. This is because the first couple or weeks without Castiel made Dean stop every man, woman and child with a dirty trench coat to see if they were or knew Castiel. He learned to completely ignore the sidewalks, leading to some close calls with pedestrians but all around it helped him not get false hope as often.

But this time Sam was pretty sure. He feigned some pain, which wasn't too difficult, he still wasn't fully recovered, and convinced Dean to stay in the dinky, old fashioned motel. All in all, it wasn't the worst place they had stayed at. After Dean fell asleep for his obligatory four hours, Sam snuck out to check out the dry cleaners.

It was still open but the door was blocked by a chair. If he stood at the correct angle he could see a bunched up trench coat and a head black, tuftty hair that could only belong to Cas. Their Cas, well, if he was being honest, more of Dean's Cas, but still it was Cas! He knew better than to try the door or talk to Castiel because Cas could only be hiding for a reason and as dim witted and stubborn as his brother could be even Sam new it was a pretty damn good reason. To protect the only humans Castiel cared about, to keep his fallen brethren chasing the betrayer, rather than what said betrayer cares more about than all of heaven. Even though it made sense, it was still stupid. Together, they could protect each other better than any of them could do alone. Sam was pretty sure Dean would obliterate every angel in heaven for Castiel and Cas would do the same, in fact he pretty much did. Sam would protect those two idiots until the actual end of the world, as opposed to all these almost end of the worlds.

Before Sam left he slipped some quarters under the door, just enough for Cas to be able to clean his clothes. After all, if they were going to join forces again there was no need to give Cas any more money. But now came the tricky part, convincing Dean they needed to go to the dry cleaners in the morning. If he was being honest with himself, it was going to very difficult and make his life very strenuous but he knew it would all be worth it once Dean and Castiel saw each other again.


End file.
